Tenerife, Spain

It’s not the first time I’ve visited the Canary Islands or Tenerife for that matter. In fact I’ve had four Canary Island holidays to date as well as a Cruise around the Canaries back in 2001.

The popularity of this tiny part of the world is hardly surprising. It’s one of the closest holiday destinations to the UK offering good weather all year round. With a measly four hour flight time, Tenerife is an easy and familiar getaway for us Brits. It served as a great destination to spend a week with my wider family (parents and sibling) who’ve also been many times and recommended the Hard Rock hotel as their top-choice venue in the Canaries.

1 – Martian landscape

My first observation is the Martian landscape that forms each of the eight Canary Islands. Tenerife’s entire landscape is dark, volcanic and dry. It makes you wonder how the first inhabitants actually survived! Over the years, humans have carved out the island to create flatter, habitable foundations, transport infrastructure and greenery through special irrigation networks.

Although I LOVE the uniqueness of volcanic land, I miss the look and feel of real sand. On some coastline locations, sand has been imported to create man-made beaches – but it’s not the same. So if a sandy beach is a must when holidaying then the Canaries is not for you.

2 – Spain in the 80s

In my younger years I visited Spain a handful of times and have many a fond memory from those early package holiday trips.

I was amazed to see subtle remnants of ’80s Spain’ in Tenerife 2021, though it was satisfyingly comforting. I spotted a couple of bars and eateries with outdoor menus that had photos of the drinks/dishes on offer – something I remember vividly from my childhood. The signage on shop fronts also had a tinge of 80s typeface and colouring. And then the iconic souvenir shops – overflowing onto the pavements with inflatables, suncreams, gifts and trinkets.

A trip down memory lane is always good and having been away from typical Brit resorts for well over a decade – it was a completely unexpected but welcome surprise.

Hard Rock Hotel 

Arrival: We arrived at the Hard Rock hotel around 8pm and felt instantly ‘alive’ as we walked through the foyer to chanter, foot tapping and loud music reverberating around the open-plan main communal area. We were taken behind the reception desk to a quieter section so we could communicate with the chap checking us in, without having to resort to sign language!

We were greeted as ‘Rockers’ and within just 10 minutes of entering the building it dawned on me that this place is for ‘the living’ – those who like to party, be in the zone and mingle with fellow ‘hard rockers’. Not my usual bag – but why the hell not. So we quickly let our hair down and assumed the accustomed vibe.

Complex: Every area and aspect of the hotel was nicely designed and always incredibly clean and well maintained.

Pools: The hotel complex has three outdoor pools, I’ll refer to them as ‘upper’, ‘middle’ and ‘lower’.

The upper pool (Splash) is more suited to children – the pool depth and play equipment was the giveaway there. We didn’t spend any time in this particular pool but it looked like a decent place for families with small children.

The middle pool (Eden) is adults only – so a big appeal for us! We spent many-a-day by this more tranquil poolside, sipping sweet and fruity cocktails at the pool bar.

The lower pool (Lago) is the real wow-factor though. The large expanse of waist-high water with pool bars, DJ station and concert stage says it all. We didn’t visit during a performance or event, but from the volume/tempo of music and overall vibe we did experience, we were able to imagine what pool-party days might be like!

Decor: The hotel decor was a mixture of two very different halves. On one hand the hotel boasted class and simplicity: with white marble floors, lots of well-tended shrubbery and dark walnut timbers. Yet on the other hand, the hotel was bling: with high gloss red and black furniture, red swirly carpets, multicoloured neon lighting and an abundance of mirrors. I couldn’t decide if the contrasting decor was by design or unintended circumstance. So I came away with the conclusion that the Hard Rock hotel has multiple personalities!

Classy and calm…

Bling and exciting…

All about the brand: Hard Rock is a global brand and although I’ve never been to one of their cafés or hotels, I’m very familiar with its identity and what it represents.

The hotel is riddled with ‘signature brand touches’ dotted about at every opportunity and appealing to all of your senses. From the branded chocolates in the room, to the unique, perfumed scent pumped through the aircon, or the Rockers theme-tune that greets you each time you enter your room – the brand identity is everywhere in a multitude of guises. Both subtle and discreet, yet in-your-face at the same time. This hotel is all about the brand, ensuring there’s more than just memories imprinted when you leave.

Room: We opted for a slight upgrade to the silver suite. It was plushly designed with an open-plan layout, ‘jacuzzi’ bath and his & her sinks overlooking the bed and out onto the balcony.

Restaurants: The hotel has five à la carte restaurants as well as a main buffet restaurant, aptly known as ‘Sessions‘. As all inclusive guests, we had the option of eating at the Sessions or any of the à la carte restaurants, to a limited daily budget of £39 which broadly allows a good meal and a couple of drinks.

The Steak House (Montauk) was the finest of all on-site eateries in my opinion – the grilled octopus and mash was delicate, succulent and divine. The Italian restaurant (Capolavoro) came a close second, offering authentic cuisine cooked to a high standard in a lampshade-spinning quirky environment. 

Many-a-fine delicacies were also sampled at lunchtime in the outdoor poolside eatery (Beach Club) including a slightly different rendition of octopus and mash – becoming my favourite dish of the holiday.

I was less enamoured with the Sports Bar (Third Half) but I’m not a burger and fries fan so didn’t expect to be!

Finally, I was gutted that the Asian restaurant (Narumi) was closed when we visited. I’m pretty sure this would have been my favourite dining experience but I’ll have to reserve judgment for now.

Despite being the freebie, the ‘open all hours’ Sessions buffet was a surprisingly decent place to eat. We spent around three hours each morning there, lapping up the unfolding day to a long and leisurely breakfast. The quality of food was good, with plenty of choice enabling even the fussiest of eaters to be catered for – perfect for Annie who managed the odd donut and bread roll!

Spa: As part of our package, we had also had a 90 minute session in the hotel’s spa. It comprises four pools of varying temperatures and locations, as well as a range of therapeutic rooms: snow room, steam room, sauna, relaxation room. Along with a couple of glasses of fizz, we managed to unwind and take in this first class sanctuary with ease.

Memorabilia – Unlike most hotels I’ve visited, the Hard Rock is a shrine to current and former rock stars. It’s not possible to walk around any of the communal areas without seeing artefacts or memorabilia of rock legends. We didn’t capture as many shots as we would have liked, but it was fun to nosey around and digest some interesting facts and trivia about the items on display. A real plus-point for hardcore Rock fans.

Poor Service – Although the Hard Rock hotel was an excellent place to stay, I’m afraid the poor service throughout our stay was a real let down. In making this claim, I should point out that this was mainly the fault of management for not having sufficient staffing in place for the number of guests. I suspect this was due to cut-backs, perhaps Covid-related, but the inadequate staff levels to meet demands impacted everyone. The waiters and waitresses themselves were fraught, particularly around the pool. Although they tried to be friendly and never stopped working, orders were missed or incorrect. On many occasions we waited up to 45 minutes to get a drink.

(Overall rating 93/100)

Stroll along Av. Adeje 300

We took an early morning walk out of the complex along Avenue Adeje 300 (a quirky B-road from the coastline up and along to the A-road). It was our only real breakout from the complex and enabled us to get a small taster of the traditional dwellings and lifestyles of the Adeje locals.

(Overall rating 83/100)

Swim in Playa El Pinque

To the far side of the lower, Lago pool is a gated exit to the coastline. It’s just a small shaley enclave but a totally picturesque setting and gave us our only opportunity of a real sea swim.

We swam from the shoreline to the small rocky outcrop about 150m away. Once on the rocks I could hear what sounded like prehistoric creatures. It was great fun and nice to enjoy a swim with the old man.

(Overall rating 89/100)

Covid-19

Covid is still dominating the world. Masks are still required when in areas of high footfall, passes are required for entering and leaving the country. But, we know the drill and it’s a necessary part of wanting to travel.

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Date of visit: 30 August 2021 to 6 September 2021